We all are conditioned to compare ourselves to others. Even the person who keeps telling others that they don’t is often not immune to it because the habit has been there not for days or years but decades. Ever since I was a child, I was taught to compare myself at school and excel better than my peers at academics. At home, I was taught to be better than (at least appear to be better) my cousins and neighbor kids at being a kid. When I grew up, I was asked to compete with others for other opportunities. I get it, there are less opportunities and more people looking for them. Hence, we have to wrestle against each other for employment and studies. We are so used to it that we compare ourselves with others even in how we live our lives, what we wear, what we do for fun, what we consider valuable, who do we choose as life partner and if we choose a life partner. It has become inherent and almost subconscious to think that way. I was not an exception. Sitting in my living room at 2am in my pyjamas, eating cheap frozen pizza and trying to write a paper for my class while my peers are out there, earning in five digits, celebrating with their entourage and bringing up children was harder than expected. But then, I felt so liberated when I realized that our realities are different and always subjective, literally. In my understanding, our reality constitutes what happens in our lives, how we see it and how we perceive everything around us. The centre of our reality is always us and that makes it super subjective. Everything we think about our life, everything is because we think that. We are like a giant walking magnet. Hence, we attract whatever we think more of and the cycle goes on. If everyone has a different reality, then how is comparing two different realities making sense? It’s like comparing an apple and an orange, they are not the same kind of fruits, one is citrus and the other is..not citrus! Ever since I realised this, I stopped comparing myself to others. It stopped, poof! And when people try to compare me with others, it sounds super ridiculous now whereas it used to be depressing before the big change of my life.
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